Becoming Aware of Emotions

May 3, 2010

The first big hurdle I remember facing in my effort to learn emotional skills was becoming aware of what I felt. I was so well trained in the use of denial and avoidance that I wasn’t sure what I felt most of the time. My emotional vocabulary was limited to angry, happy, or sad and depressed. When asked in therapy what [...]

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Sentry Emotions

February 12, 2010

I know for me, I feel “judged, embarrassed, unsafe and exposed” when I am acting out my issues. Part of me always knows when I’m acting out my issues, even if I think I am covering my tracks really well. My cover might be arrogance, or criticism of others, or self-righteousness. But my inner voice [...]

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I stepped in piles of existential poop

February 11, 2010

Until last September, we had a dog, a rather large dog at 120 pounds. For many years, we had two large dogs. And we have a small backyard, where they relieved themselves. It was necessary for us to clean the dog poop from our yard every day. It seemed like we always had large piles [...]

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“Messing up” is Human…”Cleaning up” is Self-Responsible!

February 8, 2010

Most of us are trained, through societal messages and parental models, to believe that apologies are unwarranted, especially in friendships and familial relationships. It’s commonly modeled to sweep offensive behavior under the denial carpet and move on. We’re taught that bringing up an unresolved issue for review is “belaboring it”, “dwelling on it” and “making [...]

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How to know when you have an issue up…

February 7, 2010

Most people wonder, “How do I know when I am struggling with an issue?” The answer is…By the presence of internal disharmony! It may show up as a feeling of distance, disconnection, trepidation, anxiety, sadness, or discomfort. As humans, we all have issues! It is your emotions that alert you to the presence of an [...]

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Emotional issues are NEVER the problem…

February 7, 2010

Emotional issues are never the problem! It is the not dealing with our issues that creates problems in our lives and in our relationships. We cannot deal effectively with our emotional issues if we have not learned emotional skills. We live in a world that believes our physical, spiritual or mental skill training has sufficiently [...]

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BEing in Truth vs. Being in a Relationship

February 6, 2010

BEing in Truth means behaving in a way that is completely consistent with your Personal Truth. It is the only path to Higher Consciousness. Any behavior that is not consistent with your Personal Truth will inevitably lead you back to a lesson you have not yet integrated. BEing in Truth, however, sometimes conflicts with being in [...]

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When the Other Person Shuts Down

February 2, 2010

Not all attempts at using issues to create greater intimacy are met with open arms and gratitude. As is almost always the case, when one person’s issues are up, and expressed, then the other person’s issues are triggered. Now there are two sets of issues hanging in the air. Arguments between spouses are classic examples of this. One person [...]

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Don’t Believe the Façade

February 2, 2010

Everyone has a façade. This is the mask we first started creating as a young child, to enhance and guarantee our survival. The façade is the creation of the unconscious in reaction to the imprints it has encountered. It is the face our unconscious has learned to show to the world in order to maximize our survival. It [...]

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What Do You Know About Emotions?

January 31, 2010

How much do you consider your emotions? Did you know that you are feeling emotions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year? Did you know that everything important in your life is run by your emotions, even if you think of yourself as an unemotional, objective, rational person? Emotions come and emotions go, usually without [...]

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